Suffice to say I’ve got mixed feelings about the Satanic novelty act. I didn’t mind their debut album, Opus Eponymous, but have yet to hear its followup, Infestissumam, which one reviewer (favourably) described as ” leveraged with an ABBA-esque pop sensibility,” adding “Ghost are still as overtly satanic as ever, they’ve just softened their approach.” The record, released by the Universal Music Group, peaked at number 23 on the Billboard charts last week. Not bad for a buncha ABBA-sounding songs about Satan!
Alas, when I saw Ghost the first time around, they only had the debut album to draw from. I was quite surprised at how many kids were both moshing and singing along to the likes of “Elizabeth” and “Satan’s Prayer,” but their performance didn’t strike such a chord with me. While I wouldn’t say they’re all smoke and mirrors, they definitely used a lotta smoke. And I thought they sounded rather wimpy in the live setting–a softer, more sensible sound is the last thing I wanna hear.
So no, I won’t be at the Opera House to see Ghost tomorrow, though I don’t doubt they’ll draw a decent crowd. I’m hereby filing them next to KISS in the “bands I had to see once” folder, far from the “mandatory attendance at every opportunity” file. And speaking of KISS, well, their hooded counterparts have come up with an exciting merchandise opportunity that’ll have Gene Simmons drooling with delight…
That’s right, it’s a Ghost dildo! If you love the vocal strains of Papa Emeritus so much that you’d insert him into your anal orifice, do we have a screaming deal for you! For the super-low price of $199.99, you’ll receive the following:
1 x Exclusive Papa Emeritus II Dildo Puppetmaster T-Shirt (only available with this item)
1 x Bible box case with Gold embossed artwork and red velvet lining.
1 x Divorce paper scroll with customised Ghost foil emblem.
1 x Ghost B.C. brushed metal logo charm.
1 x Bronze effect metal butt plug with moulded Grucifix logo base.
1 x Sculpted black silicone Papa Emeritus II dildo.
Interestingly enough, the t-shirts only come in men’s sizes. I’m trying to figure out where the “Grucifix” buttplug would go, then…