For a moment there, I thought I had hit the jackpot. All these attractive young women were adding me on Facebook–and they appeared to be into heavy rock too, what with names like Lilly Rockgrrl and Rocksy Stoner. But then I found out it was all a ruse, perpetrated by the management of an Austrian stoner rock band. (Say what now?)
Now, when I first heard the name Solrize, I thought it was the band from New Jersey that put out a couple albums on Man’s Ruin and MeteorCity back in the day. But no, that’s Solarized. I guess if you drop two letters from the band name, it’s no longer a copyright violation? Or perhaps the Austrian outfit just isn’t well-known enough to appear on the latter’s radar screen–despite the best efforts of their management company.
Now guys, I surely can’t be the only one who clicks “accept” whenever a woman with a hot profile pic adds me on Facebook. But unfortunately, I’ve learned that most of these accounts are spammers–and Rocksy Stoner is no exception. Something tells me the buxom brunette did not attend the College of Beverly Hills nor work at Sony Music, seeing how the band she’s constantly promoting is signed to an independent Italian label. And it would be one thing if she was the only account created with the sole purpose of promoting this band, but there are actually dozens of them out there–including Rocksy Stoner II. (I’ve heard the sequel’s not as good.)
So gentlemen and dopesmokers, if a girl with the last name Stoner adds you on Facebook, she probably isn’t looking to do bong hits with you. Especially if you see, oh, about 52 links to the new Solrize video on her wall. 😉
By the way, I’m also doing a second stand-up gig next Tuesday. Yes, that’s the Jays home opener, but who watches baseball? Comedy Brawl Gauntlet #6 Tuesday, April 2nd @ Crown and Tiger, College and Bathurst, 8 pm. $5.