A Metalhead’s Holiday Gift Guide

Hellbound.ca presents The Metalhead's Gift Guide

Contributors: Steve Earles (SE), Rob Hughes (RH), Ola Mazzuca (OM), Jonathan Smith (JS), Laura Wiebe (LW), Adam Wills (AW)

As December’s gift-buying chaos falls upon us, rest assured that shopping for your favourite metalhead doesn’t have to be a taxing chore (even if you’re the family member or friend who can’t tell Dethklok from Death, or metalcore from grindcore). Whether you’re a bewildered dear one, a metal fan buying for a fellow metal lover, or looking for a treat for yourself, we Hellbounders have a few holiday shopping ideas that might make your task a little easier. (LW)

For the Visually Inclined: Film & TV

Get a Life: The Complete Series
Although I wouldn’t claim that Chris Elliot’s twisted sitcom about a 30-year-old paperboy is very metal (REM provided the theme song), many episodes end with our hero dying in various ways. Morbid tales indeed! (RH)

Criterion Eclipse Series 37: When Horror Came to Shochiku
This set of four Japanese monster/horror movies from the late sixties looks like a ridiculously fun alternative to Rudolph, It’s a Wonderful Life and the usual Yuletide viewing. (RH)

Rare Exports
While Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story will always be holiday classics, Finland’s Rare Exports is a new and unforgettable take on the Santa Claus mythology. (AW)

Silent Night movie coverSilent Night
Though I haven’t caught any buzz about new holiday horror flicks on par with last year’s Rare Exports, perhaps Anchor Bay’s 2012 update of Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) will make a bid for the status of creepy Christmas classic. (LW)

The Horde
Originally released in 2009, this insane French zombie film (the French do all in style) is available this season on DVD and Blu-ray. (SE)

Looking for metal on the big screen that isn’t a documentary? This (classic) Metallica-filled soundtrack backs a unique tale about a young boy who befriends a chaotic metalhead. (AW)

Metal Evolution: The Series
Banger Films’ popular TV exploration of “the questions heavy metal fans have always wanted to ask” is available on 3 discs in a limited edition steel tin for collectors. (LW)

For the Literate Metalhead: Books

What Are You Doing Here: A Black Woman’s Life and Liberation in Heavy Metal, by Laina Dawes (Bazillion Points) 
“I wanted to find other black women like me: metal, hardcore, and punk fans and musicians that were rabid about the music and culture and adamant about asserting their rightful place as black women within those scenes.” So begins the description of Laina Dawes’s new and essential guide to a black woman’s experience in contemporary heavy music, which comes complete with a foreword by Skin (Skunk Anansie). (JS)

Iron Man: My Journey through Heaven and Hell with Black Sabbath, by Tony Iommi (Da Capo)
First published in 2011, Tony Iommi’s in-depth autobiography is being re-released in paperback in time for this year’s end. (SE)

Metal Rules the Globe: Heavy Metal Music Around the World, edited by Jeremy Wallach, Harris M. Berger, and Paul D. Greene (Duke University Press)
An important anthology of scholarship on the globe-spanning reach of metal music and culture, this collection examines metal scenes in Brazil, China and various other locales, exploring questions about music’s relationship with ideas of gender and nation, among other significant issues. (LW)

Hellbent for Cooking: The Heavy Metal Cookbook, by Annick “Morbid Chef” Giroux (Bazillion Points)
Whether you’re experienced or novice, cook to the blastbeat with Ms. Giroux’s book. Through 101 recipes from metal bands around the world, of every subgenre, you will experience exquisite and ethnically adventurous tastes from the most extreme artists. (OM)
[Check out some of the meals inside on our Blasphemous Blog -ed]

On Board Flight 666, by Iron Maiden
Described as “the first and only official book from Britain’s biggest Heavy Metal band,” this “pictorial odyssey” features a foreword by frontman Bruce Dickinson and “fly-on-the-wall” visual coverage of the band from official photographer John McMurtrie. (LW)



Heavy Metal Tree Ornaments
If the usual tree decorations seem too bland or benign try some of the metal-themed options available, from the custom-made to the band-specific. (LW)

The Century Media Xmas Collection

Tree ornaments adorned with goats and pentagrams, Satanic stockings, and even a metal twist on the tacky Christmas sweater (red and green inverted crosses!) – Century Media will fill your home with blackened holiday cheer. (AW)


Slayer Holiday Jumper
Slayer Jumperhttp://slayer.backstreet-merch.com/stores/slayer/official_slayer_jumper_christmas-holidays-jumper_slay246.html
Stay warm, but not tacky, this winter with a Christmas sweater adorned by pentagrams. Impress your Catholic family members with lyrics from “South of Heaven.” (OM)

King Diamond Hot Pants
Because what metal chick doesn’t want a pentagram on her butt? (OM)

Heaven & Hell Men’s Underwear
Let your briefs channel a little Ronnie James Dio. (LW)

VANS 20th Anniversary Metallica Half-Cab Sneakers
Skate and destroy with these Kill ‘Em All-inspired shoes. (OM)

The Classic Metal T-Shirt
There’s an overwhelming selection of metal shirts available these days, so we suggest a classic – a Rainbow “Long Live Rock ’n’ Roll” tee. (SE)


ZVEX Effects
These pedals ain’t cheap, but hey, Christmas comes just once a year, right? Metalheads should check out the Box of Metal, stoner rockers will want to plug into the Mastotron, and aspiring prog rockers might want to expore the Lo-Fi Loop Junky. (RH)

USB “Rock Out” Key
Store your digital files while giving the metalhead salute. (OM)

Buying Local

Another holiday gift-finding gem is the local seasonal bazaar, where you’re sure to find unique handmade goodies. Odd, creepy and delightfully heavy things show up even in sales held in (if not by) the neighbourhood church, but you may be lucky enough to live in a town where the bazaars are expressly bizarre – like Toronto’s holiday marketplace “Frost Bite 2012” on December 15 (https://www.facebook.com/events/518117254865444/?ref=ts&fref=ts). (LW)

Happy heavy metal shopping!

Adam has been a photographer for Hellbound since day 1 and also has a hand in the technical aspects of running the site.